Dumb Comments on Paula Deen Recipes

I am watching, with some interest, the Paula-Deen-Has-Diabetes story unfold. Mostly because, dude, she was diagnosed four years ago and has only gone public now that she's got a drug endorsement deal. The whole thing reeks of a lot of things that are wrong with America these days.

 

The Atlantic rattled off a list of Paula Deen recipes that Paula Deen can no longer enjoy as a diabetic, which inspired me to read some of her recipes on my lunch break today. Nothing will kill the appetite faster than thinking about a lot of grease and copious amounts of sugar, let me tell you. It's not really Deen's recipes that are most horrifying or hilarious, though, it's the Food Network reader comments. I'm sure Food Network commentors are the same no matter which show's recipes they are reviewing, but here is a selection of some of my favorite Paula Deen comments:

 

Épater la bourgeisoisie: "GOOD FOOD IS NOT TRASHY FOOD! SO STOP BEING SO BOURGEISOIS!" - Paula's Fried Butter Balls.

 

Too bad devine is not really a word unless you are removing some vines, I guess, something that you will probably never do in preparing or eating nastay donut bread pudding: "The rum sauce made it really devine." Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding.

 

Take it from the Italians: "I was raised in an Italian home and this is an absolute abomination!" -- Deep-Fried Lasagna

 

Most of the other commentors said the sugar was unnecessary since ice cream is already full of sugar. WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM: "I made this vanilla milkshake, but used powdered sugar instead of granulated sugar and it came out AMAZING!" -- Vanilla Milkshake

 

Yep: "This looks like turd on a stick. So when I say that sh** looks awful I really mean it." -- Deep-Fried Stuffing on a Stick

 

Maybe someday you can have Type II Diabetes too, kid. Just keep eating gross things!: "I am only 11 and I thank you because i need to start practicing if i want to become like you!" -- The Lady's Brunch Burger

 

Today in #firstworldproblems: this person is complaining about the clean-up associated with making homemade whipped cream. PUT THE MIXER BOWL IN THE DISHWASHER, and ... scene. you're done, no need to feel jealous of a celebrity chef for having a clean-up crew: "ok, I whipped up the cream cheese and powdered sugar. I had to scrap out my kitchenaid bowl, wash it, cool it ant then whip the cream. I am so tired of "chefs" who put out recipes that pretend that we all have someone to clean up after us. Paula, make your recipes in the real world. I don't want to wash several bowls, but you have people that do that for you, right? I would love to flit out of the kitchen after I cook, like you. However, I am a real cook and have to clean up after myself. This recipe can be modified to reduce the cleanup with no loss of flavor. "  -- Fruit Tray with Fruit Dip

 

Yep, that fruit is super-healthy stuffed in a cream cheese layer between two pieces of batter-dipped white bread: "Great way to get a picky eater to eat her fruit!!!" -- Strawberry-Cream Cheese Stuffed French Toast